#nonsense

Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#blob #clay #cuddle #love #night

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#love #nonsense #ridiculous #trash #love

If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered “Whole milk” then you’re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I’ll just pour it in someone else’s coffee.
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— Jarod Kintz

#label #labels #love #milk #nonsense

I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. ↗

— Steve Martin

#money #nonsense #rich #humor

Love will find you eventually, I guarantee it. That’s why you need to buy an invisible cloak from me for the one-time low price of $77,777.77. Offer valid for emotional invalids only. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#emotions #guarantee #invalid #invisibility #invisible-cloak

Love gives you wings. Icarus and the Challenger both had wings, and so did my first love letter, after I folded it up and flung it at my crush.
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— Jarod Kintz

#challenger #crush #explosion #flung #icarus

I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#clone #clothing #commitment #devotion #i-love-jenn

Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#health #healthy #love #nonsense #ride

She wore tight corsets to give her a teeny waist - I helped her lace them up - but they had the effect of causing her to faint. Mom called it the vapors and said it was a sign of her high breeding and delicate nature. I thought it was a sign that the corset made it hard to breathe. ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#common-sense #fashion #nonsense #victorian-era #nature

...you’d be amazed at the grand tales the human brain will throw up to make sense of something nonsensical. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#human-behaviour #human-nature #logic #making-sense-of-the-world #nonsense