#nonsense

I only sing in the shower. I would join a choir, but I don’t think my bathtub can hold that many people.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bathtub #choir #kinky #music #musical

Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#nonsense

in nonsense is strength ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#nonsense

I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drinking #erode #erosion #flesh #geology

No one knows as well as I how much nonsense is printed in books. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#reading #nonsense

Can`t you see that I`m only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb? ↗

— Titus Petronius Niger

#humour #irony #latin #nonsense #satyre

I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blemish #funny #grotesque #humor #mustache

Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blob #clay #cuddle #love #night

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #nonsense #ridiculous #trash #love

If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk, what does the second unlabeled bottle contain? If you answered “Whole milk” then you’re obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So I’ll just pour it in someone else’s coffee.
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— Jarod Kintz

#label #labels #love #milk #nonsense