#grandma

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#grandma-mazur #comedy

The groove is so mysterious. We're born with it and we lose it and the world seems to split apart before our eyes into stupid and cool. When we get it back, the world unifies around us, and both stupid and cool fall away. I am grateful to those who are keepers of the groove. The babies and the grandmas who hang on to it and help us remember when we forget that any kind of dancing is better than no dancing at all. ↗

— Lynda Barry

#babies #confidence #cool #dance #dancing

Carson is an old family name, though my grandma used to watch Johnny all the time and was crazy about him. ↗

— Carson Daly

#carson #crazy #family #grandma #him

My grandmother got approved right before the law changed, so naturally she got grandfathered in. In related news, but completely unrelated, I was adopted.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#adoption #family #grandfathered #grandma #law

You'll see a movie about someone you hate or someone you love. Will you see a movie about grandma making apple pies? No, you won't. Only if grandma has poisoned the neighbor or is suspected of poisoning the neighbor through her apple pies. ↗

— John McAfee

#apple #grandma #hate #her #love

In the absence of a cat, I’d consider cuddling with a synthetic fur coat. Especially if your dead grandma was wearing it.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #coat #cuddle #cuddling #death

I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d probably give her right ear for a left ear that wasn’t soundproof). 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#baseball-is-boring #ear #grandma #grandmother #loud

I have to tell you, my seven-year-old granddaughter said to my daughter, her mother, 'So what's the big deal about Grandma Maddy having been Secretary of State? Only girls are Secretaries of State.' Most of her lifetime, it's true. But at the time it really was a big deal. ↗

— Madeleine Albright

#been #big #big deal #daughter #deal

Mystery Men you can take grandma, you can take everyone to see this film. ↗

— Kel Mitchell

#film #grandma #men #mystery #see

I would love to do top of pops as a grandma. ↗

— Tina Charles

#i #love #pops #top #would