#grandma

When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #grandma #nonsense #old #old-age

Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?" It's a street name," Ranger said. "I was a Ranger in the army." I heard about them Rangers on TV," Grandma said. "I heard they get dogs pregnant." My father's mouth dropped open and a piece of ham fell out. My mother froze, her fork poised in midair. That's sort of a joke," I told Grandma. "Rangers don't get dogs pregnant in real life." I looked at Ranger for corroboration and got another smile. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #ranger #sobriquet #humor

In swimming, everyone calls me grandma, because I'm the oldest there. Then with my friends, I'm the youngest and I'm the baby. It's definitely bizarre. ↗

— Amanda Beard

#because #bizarre #calls #definitely #everyone

Don't get me wrong - I've gone to a club. But I'd much rather be with my close friends at home or a concert, or on a trip. I'll go dancing with my grandma. She likes to cut a rug! ↗

— Zac Efron

#close friends #club #concert #cut #dancing

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#careful #doing #driver #grandma #her

The Dominican Republic says 'We're black behind the ears.' And in Mexico, 'there's a black grandma in the closet.' They know, they've just been intermarrying for a long time. But if we did the DNA of everyone in Mexico a whole lot of people would have a whole lot of black in them. ↗

— Henry Louis Gates

#behind #black #closet #did #dna

My most cherished possessions are my grandma's letters and my vintage Martha Washington cookbook. ↗

— Sandra Lee

#cookbook #grandma #letters #martha #most

If Charlton Heston can have a constitutional right carry a rifle, why can't grandma have a constitutional right to health care? ↗

— Al Sharpton

#carry #charlton #constitutional #constitutional right #grandma

Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes for a living. ↗

— Jamie Foxx

#day #grandma #hard #hard day #her

I heard about them Rangers on TV,” Grandma said. “I heard they get dogs pregnant.” -Grandma Mazur ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #humor