#grandma

I heard about them Rangers on TV,” Grandma said. “I heard they get dogs pregnant.” -Grandma Mazur ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #humor

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humorous #humor

Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#grandma #marriage #married #funny

You'll see a movie about someone you hate or someone you love. Will you see a movie about grandma making apple pies? No, you won't. Only if grandma has poisoned the neighbor or is suspected of poisoning the neighbor through her apple pies. ↗

— John McAfee

#apple #grandma #hate #her #love

In the absence of a cat, I’d consider cuddling with a synthetic fur coat. Especially if your dead grandma was wearing it.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #coat #cuddle #cuddling #death

I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d probably give her right ear for a left ear that wasn’t soundproof). 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#baseball-is-boring #ear #grandma #grandmother #loud

I have to tell you, my seven-year-old granddaughter said to my daughter, her mother, 'So what's the big deal about Grandma Maddy having been Secretary of State? Only girls are Secretaries of State.' Most of her lifetime, it's true. But at the time it really was a big deal. ↗

— Madeleine Albright

#been #big #big deal #daughter #deal