#nonsense

I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alone #calzone #communicate #communication #desperation

In a society in which equality is a fact, not merely a word, words of racial or sexual assault and humiliation will be nonsense syllables. ↗

— Catharine MacKinnon

#equality #fact #humiliation #merely #nonsense

It’s 3:32, and I need just one more ingredient to finish baking 3:33. Would you prefer the AM or the PM piece?
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— Jarod Kintz

#cooking #food #ingredients #nonsense #time

When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.
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— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #grandma #nonsense #old #old-age

I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#family #martha #martha-s-vineyard #name #nonsense

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fish-tank #funny #nonsense #pacifism #funny

A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. ↗

— Roald Dahl

#men #nonsense #now #now and then #then

No Blame: The most liberating and empowering day of my life was the day I freed myself from my own self-destructive nonsense. ↗

— Steve Maraboli

#empowering #liberating #nonsense #self-destructive #success

A writer need not devour a whole sheep in order to know what mutton tastes like, but he must at least eat a chop. Unless he gets his facts right, his imagination will lead him into all kinds of nonsense, and the facts he is most likely to get right are the facts of his own experience. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#experience #facts #mutton #nonsense #sheep

I am three forks away from eating all your food with two homeless guys. It’s too bad I only have a suitcase full of spoons and a bucket of soy sauce.
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— Jarod Kintz

#food #funny #homeless #humor #nonsense