#nonsense

I want to go to Martha’s Vineyard. I have an aunt named Martha. And an uncle by that name. Neither one is related to me. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#family #martha #martha-s-vineyard #name #nonsense

It’s 3:32, and I need just one more ingredient to finish baking 3:33. Would you prefer the AM or the PM piece?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cooking #food #ingredients #nonsense #time

The tire left a skid mark on the road that looked like a mustache. So I shaved it off the pavement, stuffed it in my trunk, and took it home to wear to work the next day. Ah, but that’s life, no?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#day #life #mustache #nonsense #pavement

That was the first time ever in history that anybody got Special Guest Star. I started that whole nonsense. ↗

— Jonathan Harris

#ever #first #first time #got #guest

Love has a shape, but no color. You’re probably wondering, “If it’s transparent, how do you know what shape it is?” Good question. Well, for one thing, I put it together, and for another, I’m currently wearing it like body armor (though to the casual observer, I appear naked).
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#body #color #love #naked #nonsense

I’ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in my hot coffee. While you’re at it, I also like sugar in my coffee. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#breasts #child #coffee #cream #drink

Don't for heaven's sake, be afraid of talking nonsense! But you must pay attention to your nonsense. ↗

— Ludwig Wittgenstein

#nonsense #attention

I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cherry #knot #nonsense #ridiculous

Any acceleration constitutes progress, Miss Glory. Nature had no understanding of the modern rate of work. From a technical standpoint the whole of childhood is pure nonsense. Simply wasted time. An untenable waste of time. ↗

— Karel Capek

#any #childhood #constitutes #glory #had

Many of us saw religion as harmless nonsense. Beliefs might lack all supporting evidence but, we thought, if people needed a crutch for consolation, where's the harm? September 11th changed all that. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#changed #consolation #crutch #evidence #harm