#s

I would be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of the assignment. Here I am, a "troubled youth," and my self-chosen treatment is to become a stalker. Okay, not stalker. Research Analyst. ↗

— Lindsey Leavitt

#humor #lindsey-leavitt #research #sean-griswold-s-head #stalker

I already have a plan." Celie said, raising her hand as she would with her tutor. "Do you?" Rolf's eyes gleamed. "What is it?" "I don't think you'll like it, Lilah." Celie apologized straightaway. "It involves manure...a great deal of manure." Rolf started to laugh again. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#laughs #manure #prank #humor

Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God’s. ↗

— Val McDermid

#sarcasm #humor

Dejardins was so stunned, he momentarily forgot how to speak English. "Ce n'est pas possible. On ne pourrait pas- ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #sadie #humor

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#careful #dannika-dark #funny #humor #mageri

Show me a girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and I'll show you a girl who can't put her pants on. -Annik Marchand ↗

— Ann Brashares

#humor #pants #humor

If I take a tumble, I'll mae quite a splash, but at least I won't smash against the deck and make a mess. Still be dead, though. ↗

— L.A. Meyer

#mary-jacky-faber #pirates #humor

I am no coward sir! I shall stand and fight!" "Well, I am," said Sal. "So can we go... please? ↗

— Alex Scarrow

#bravery #cowardice #eternal-war #humor #humor

Players like rules. If they didn't have any rules, they wouldn't have anything to break. ↗

— Coach Lee Walls

#humor #sports #humor

I couldn't exactly blame Jane Austen for being a romantic. What the hell else was there to do back then for fun? ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor #jane-austen #olden-days #humor