#s

Or maybe go sci-fi. You sorta look like that guy who roamed outer space everybody's so crazy about." "Malcolm Reynolds?" asked Rook. ↗

— Richard Castle

#heat-rises #humor #science #humor

The problem with quotes on the internet is you never know if they are genuine. ↗

— Joseph Stalin

#humor #lies #quotations #reliability #truth

Get out of here. Yoda so does not have an English accent!' 'Other than that you're saying I'm a dead ringer?' 'If the shoe fits.' 'Sheesh, I hate tall girls. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sky #humor

We laughed together. It’s so lovely laughing with a man. It feels positive. Relaxed… ↗

— James Lusarde

#erotica #humor #laughter #love #men-and-women

Make love or make war shug, but make something happen. ↗

— Jenny Han

#inspirational #humor

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside. ↗

— Dimitry Martin

#life #perspective #humor

It's great, because different groups of kids can laugh at each other and still enjoy the show. ↗

— Daisy Berkowitz

#different #each #enjoy #great #groups

It's a very complicated issue about when is a fact not a fact in the context of opinions. ↗

— Daniel Okrent

#complicated #context #fact #issue #opinions

Isn't Bunson's training evil geniuses?" "Yes, mostly." "Well, is that wise? Having a mess of seedling evil geniuses falling in love with you willy-nilly? What if they feel spurned?" "Ah, but in the interim, think of the lovely gifts they can make you. Monique bragged that one of her boys made her silver and wood hair sticks as anti-supernatural weapons. With amethyst inlay. And another made her an exploding wicker chicken." "Goodness, what's that for?" Dimity pursed her lips. "Who doesn't want an exploding wicker chicken? ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor #humor

Nekhbet shrieked in alarm. I turned to see what was going on. Immediately, I wished I could burn my eyes out of my head. Liz made a gagging sound. "Lord, no! That's wrong!" "Agh!" Emma shouted, in perfect baboon-speak. "Make him stop!" Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit.He climbed onto the roof of the limo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like Superman- except with only the underwear. For those faint of heart I wont go into detail, but Bes, all of a meter tall, was showing off his disgusting physique- his potbelly, hairy limbs, awful feet, gross flabby bits- and wearing only a blue Speedo. Imagine the worst looking person you've ever seen on a public beach- the person for whom swimwear should be illegal. Bes looked worse than that. I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!" Bes laughed= the sort of guffaw that says Ha-ha! I'm amazing! "Not until they leave," he said. "Or I'll be forced to scare them back to the Duat." "This is not your affair, dwarf god!" Nekhbet snarled, averting her eyes from his horribleness. "Go away!" "These children are under my protection," Bes insisted "I don't know you," I said. "I never met you before today." "Nonsense. You expressly asked for my protection." "I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol!" Bes leaped off the limo and landed in front of my circle placing himself between Babi and me. The dwarf was even more horrible from behind. His back was so hairy it looked like a mink coat. And on the back of his Speedo was printed DWARF PRIDE. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#sadie-kane #humor