#santa

I don't trust Santa Barbara as far as I can spit. I am afraid that if I went back there, it's possible that I could be run through their system, their judicial system, and wind up in some county jail where I could be killed and I'm not gonna take that chance. ↗

— Randy Quaid

#am #as far as #back #barbara #chance

Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man. ↗

— Patti Smith

#claus #everyone #god #help #man

No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas. ↗

— Alfred E. Smith

#christmas #claus #empty #fireplace #going

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental. ↗

— Julia Sweeney

#claus #come #even #face #family

The best men in all ages keep classic traditions alive. ↗

— George Santayana

#culture #george-santayana #tradition #age

Texas, to be respected must be polite. Santa Anna living, can be of incalculable benefit to Texas; Santa Anna dead, would just be another dead Mexican. ↗

— Sam Houston

#another #benefit #dead #incalculable #just

On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind. ↗

— David Sedaris

#holidays #santa-claus #business

Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as they crossed the lawn. "Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #muggles #ron-weasley #santa #secret

You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why, Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass. ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#violence #violence

There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#hard-boiled #santa-anas #short-story