#sat

Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed. "Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs." "Really?" "Oh, yes." She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?" "They just are." "In what way?" "In a magicky way." She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?" "Not really. ↗

— Derek Landy

#derek-landy #funny #humor #magic #skulduggery-pleasant

Sometimes when it looks like I'm deep in thought I'm just trying not to have a conversation with people. ↗

— Pete Wentz

#humor #pete #thought #wentz #humor

What ho!" I said. "What ho!" said Motty. "What ho! What ho!" "What ho! What ho! What ho!" After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #humor

Everything will turn out right, the world is built on that. ↗

— Mikhail Bulgakov

#inspirational #satan #humor

Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #moroseness #russia #satire #sorrow

Corrival looked around. 'So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.' 'Me?' Ravel asked. 'Why do I have to start it? You're the most respected mage here. You start it, or Skulduggery.' Skulduggery shook his head. 'I can't start it. I don't like most of these people. I might start shooting. ↗

— Derek Landy

#gathering #grudges #humor #humorous #mages

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#humor #offences #satire #humor

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #humor #humorous #irony #satire

You took a bath without me?" I smiled to myself at the accusation in his voice. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#bath #comedy #love #vampires #love

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #conversation #drink #drinking #drunk