#say

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#cups #expensive #first #going #jesus

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#better #duh #i #just #men

According to a new survey, 40 percent of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got a chance. The number would have been higher, but the other 60 percent already live here. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#already #been #chance #got #here

Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#arnold #arnold schwarzenegger #bad #california #calling

Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #changed #difference #hasn #his

Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#charlie #charlie sheen #confirming #dating #doctors

Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#announced #found #gene #located #loudly

The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#canada #canadian #checked #continues #go

The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#being funny #funny #life #nightmare #parties

The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#error #jersey #livable #margin #most