#sex

Sam. I've got news for you. Not every childhood trauma can be healed by finding the right penis." Sam looked devastated. He opened and closed his mouth, eyes wide, then suddenly slumped back against the railing, unable to support himself anymore. "You mean," his voice was barely a whisper. "All those romance novels lied? ↗

— Anne Tenino

#humor #sexual-healing #humor

Oh, this is going to be fun; he actually thinks he's teaching me something. ↗

— J.A. Redmerski

#sexy #humor

An element of fantasy is needed when falling in love and I was unable to find the fantasy element with any of the male gender ↗

— Novala Takemoto

#lesbian #love #love

Nick? Have you ever…” ”No.” He lifted his head again, studied me. “I’ve thought about it, but it never seemed right.” The idea of him making love to anyone else sent a shaft of pain straight through my middle. “You better wait on me, damn it.” ”I don’t think I have much choice.” He brushed my hair back. “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted, Alix, the only one I’ll ever want. That’s a promise. ↗

— Katherine Allred

#katherine-allred #love #sex #the-sweet-gum-tree #love

It has been a marvellous age of invention: radio, aeroplane, electric light, the telephone, and fellatio. ↗

— Christopher Bram

#age

I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor

Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.' 'Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others. 'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#sexism #humor

They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#intimacy #sexual #humor

Just because I like to suck cock doesn't make me any less American than Jesse Helms. ↗

— Allen Ginsberg

#gay-rights #humor #oral-sex #politics #humor

Piss me off again and I'll rip you a new asshole and then fuck it. And that's just the foreplay. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#sexy-humor #humor