#so

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#anyway #causes #even #fundamental #greed

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#bought #buying #controlled #first #first things

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#absolutely #absolutely nothing #behave #extraordinary #four

Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#die #good #look #make #middle

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#champagne #enjoy #having #host #over

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#drunk #drunkenness #eve #get #holiday

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#does #else #foreign #foreign policy #government

Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#duties #equipped #even #police #policemen

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#fact #going #i #more #old

Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#conservatism #difficult #easy #easy way #express