#som

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. ↗

— Josh Billings

#best time #bust #feel #hold #must

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel. ↗

— Josh Billings

#board #good #her #hotel #kind

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. ↗

— Josh Billings

#fellows #i #i do #know #love

And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. ↗

— Larry David

#eventually #i #kept #me #quite

I believe in something. ↗

— Larry David

#i #i believe #i believe in #something

I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me. ↗

— Larry David

#cringe #did #ever #going #i

I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. ↗

— Larry David

#how #i #misinterpreted #some #sometimes

Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself. ↗

— Larry David

#day #ever #gone #hearing #how

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money. ↗

— Josh Billings

#folks #got #haven #i #impudence

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. ↗

— Josh Billings

#influence #powerful #she #something #wants