#som

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. ↗

— E. W. Howe

#annoy #anything #appropriate #asking #friend

Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends. ↗

— Truman Capote

#friendly #friends #friendship #full-time #just

Sometimes we would be staked out in the middle of the river, several barges tied together. So we could party. ↗

— Terry Southern

#middle #out #party #river #several

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else. ↗

— Pseudonymous Bosch

#emotions #funny #humor #manga #provoke

This is a theater," Bertie, annoyed by the inquisition, dropped him onto stage. Several feet of slack cable landed atop the fairy in a slithering heap. "Oh!" Peaseblossom said. "You've buried him alive! ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#eyes-like-stars #funny #lisa-mantchev #mustardseed #peaseblossom

Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#awkward #funny #maureen-johnson #shades-of-london #funny

I don’t worry about identity theft, because I don’t even know who I am as a person. So if I’m not even in possession of my own identity, how can it be stolen from me?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

I am going to work with Tom Daschle. And I'll work with the Republican leaders and the president to try and come up with something that we can all be proud of. ↗

— John Breaux

#come #daschle #going #i #i am

If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. ↗

— H. L. Mencken

#depart #ever #eye #forgive #ghost

I'm 0 for 3 with marriage - the scoreboard doesn't lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers. ↗

— Charlie Sheen

#contaminate #contract #disrespect #heart #i