#ss

I had a lot of ambition for love, but I decided it was time to stop being needy. Now that I'm lazy I've never been more successful. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #laziness #love #needy #success

Does it have a name? All of these fancy magical weapons usually have names." Bishop glared at her. "Yeah. I like to call it Goldie." "You're funny for an angel." "Not really. I'm just inspired at the moment. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#dark-kiss #michelle-rowen #funny

His hand cups the back of my neck, and before I can think, he dips down and our mouths meet. For a split second I worry that he thinks he's kissing Courtney. But that instant the warmth of his soft lips spreads into mine, all thoughts dissolve. Pure feeling is all I have left. Little electric sparks sip through my bloodstream, making sure every nerve in my body is focused on his amazing mouth. ↗

— Tera Lynn Childs

#humor #kissing #forgiveness

There is an enduring freshness in what remains strange and obscure which the cliches of greatness can only evoke nostalgia for. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #greatness #humor #obscurity #funny

Love is a funny thing. The ones we love don't always love us back. ↗

— Scylar Tyberius

#love #funny

That's why I always keep a handful of silver glitter in my pockets. If I get pushed into a conversational corner I throw the glitter into the air, and while the person I'm talking to is distracted, I run away. An additional benefit is that I look like a cool magician, so I've got that going for me. ↗

— Jon Acuff

#christianity #funny #funny

I never forget things. I just don't observe them in the first place. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #observation #funny

Hasn't anyone ever told you," Jesse asked, in a semi-amused voice, "that a gentlemen never lays a hand on a lady?" Which I thought was king of funny, considering where Jesse had had his hand the last time I'd seen him ↗

— Meg Cabot

#funny

Given a choice between goose egg and heartache, I would choose heartache. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#funny #goose-egg #heartache #life-lessons #funny

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #intelligence #people #stupidity #humor