#stephanie

I don't believe this," Morelli yelled. "I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #life

I kicked my shoes off, shuffled out of the black jeans and carted an armload of food into my bedroom. I switched the television on and crawled into bed with the channel changer. Do I know how to have a good time, or what? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #food

You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother. “I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger.” “I wouldn't go either,” Grandma Mazur said, “but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.” “She's your responsibility,” my mother said to me. “She sticks her fingers in anybody's eyes I'm holding you accountable. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#grandma-mazur #humor #stephaine-s-mom #stephanie-plum #sticking-fingers-in-eyes

...I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. "Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, "I yelled. "I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enough...my hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line! ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#stephanie-plum #hilarious

There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#night #phone #plum #sleep #stephanie

Thank you for helping my sister,” he says. I lean forward, mimicking his position. “I’m happy to.” Calliope leans out her window. “STOP FLIRTING AND GET BACK TO WORK. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#cricket #flirt #funny #lola #lola-and-the-boy-next-door

Your on your on with this one babe." "Coward." "Calling me names isn't going to get me in there." -Ranger and Stephanie ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #stephanie-plum #funny

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#mystery #stephanie-plum #funny

Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#morelli #ranger #stephanie-plum #to-the-nines #cheating

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#joe-morelli #morelli #stephanie-plum #death