#surreal

A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is why somebody would want to stop a door, since doors represent openness. What is that person hiding behind that door that they want to stop people from opening it up? I don’t know, but it’s got to be diabolical, and if anything is to be stopped, it’s not the door—it’s the evil plan by the Door Master to take over the world.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You’ll also need duct tape, an empty car trunk, a getaway driver, and the most opportune moment to snatch your mother-in-law away to never be seen or heard from again. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be attached to a parachute and tossed out of an airplane, to test if it opens up properly. Well, the good news is the parachute worked as planned, but the bad news is the only other parachute on board is strapped to my back, and I’m afraid you’re going to have to return to your seat, buckle up, and assume the crash position. And while it may not be as useful as a functioning parachute, here’s a Rosary to aid you in your prayers. Also, before I jump out of the plane, I just remembered that I owe you a lot of money. Can I write you a check?
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

A blanket could be used as a screen to project animated bedtime stories onto, and also a place to project your fears about society not being accepting of adults who watch movies directed at an audience of four-year-olds. Trust me, I’ve been there—26 years ago. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I talked to him on Christmas, and again on March 5th. Neither one of us hung up the phone that whole time. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#awkward #christmas #conversation #dead-air #march-

I bought salvation from a man on the street. He said, "Go down to the beach and let the waves wash your feet. ↗

— Gabriel Rheaume

#detroit #religious #spirituality #suicide #surreal

Cine n-ar dori să moară visând că moare? ↗

— Saşa Pană

#dream #psychoanalysis #surrealism #death

My fiance and I had a few problems working through some of the things that he saw me say and do on the 'Surreal Life.' Considering the company that I was in, Ron Jeremy and Trishelle from 'The Real World,' I think I was pretty tame. ↗

— Traci Bingham

#considering #few #fiance #had #i

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal. ↗

— Will Ferrell

#flattering #hand #i #just #often

I was influenced by surrealist poetry and painting as were thousands of other people, and it seems to me to have become a part of the way I write, but it's not. ↗

— Kenneth Koch

#i #i write #influenced #me #other