#surreal

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#elastic #jokes #making #realism #surreal

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#drawn #joy #real situations #situations #surreal

It's so surreal being here. ↗

— Scotty McCreery

#here #surreal

I can’t define what love is. That’s like eating a pancake with a waffle instead of a fork. But you know it when you feel it, like petting a cat wearing a synthetic fur coat. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #surreal #funny

A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid, and inflexible? If yes, are you in the military? If no, why are you acting like a brick?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re having boring, obligatory sex with your spouse, who’s as dry and exciting as a sack of flour. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#books #boring #brick-and-blanket #funny #humor

A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

The spirit of life was in them: death can do nothing against the dawning light; death is but a cardboard mask soon consumed by fire. Behind the black flag - which is nothing other than an anti-flag - the garden of all possibilities is hidden, opening out infinitely to the sea. ↗

— Bernard Roger

#life #possibilities #surrealism #death

To be a surrealist means barring from your mind all remembrance of what you have seen, and being always on the lookout for what has never been. ↗

— Rene Magritte

#barring #been #being #lookout #means