#surreal

Yesterday, at the company party, I made a joke and everyone laughed and said, “Hey, now there’s the Jarod Kintz we all know and love.” and I smiled, but inside I thought, “Actually, the Jarod Kintz you know and love was my clone, who I had to murder because he kept eating all my leftovers. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #laughed #murder

People love mystery, and that is why they love my paintings. ↗

— Salvador Dalí

#mystery #surrealism #art

Bricks could be used to stock vending machines. You may be out of a home, but I’ll never be out of bricks to sell you.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Maybe I was just lucky, but I had the best pregnancy, and I loved giving birth. It was just the most amazing thing, so surreal but so real. ↗

— Ashlee Simpson

#amazing thing #best #birth #giving #had

As far as the style, I was fascinated by surrealism. ↗

— Mark Mothersbaugh

#far #fascinated #i #style #surrealism

I told her it was a bigger than life musical, that all the actors were going to be about the same age, late twenties into thirties. It would be a style; a kind of surreal high school. ↗

— Randal Kleiser

#age #bigger #going #her #high

If liquid courage smelled like cologne and gushed out of my penis, I’d make a better fire fighter than I’m not right now. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#penis #strange #surreal #change

A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or any crowded location, place the brick on your head, and stand perfectly still until they open up lines of communication. If you talk to Egbok Wangor, tell him I want the twenty bucks he owes me—and I’ll even give you a twenty percent collector’s fee.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#diet #earth #fruit #funny #gravity

I believe in the future resolution of these two states, dream and reality, which are seemingly so contradictory, into a kind of absolute reality, a surreality, if one may so speak. ↗

— André Breton

#dreams