#t

I don’t like Dijon or honey mustard. No, the only kind of mustard I like is #FFFF00 mustard. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#html #mustard #funny

Funny how a little sleep, a little makeup, and a lot of contemplating can make you feel like a different person - a stronger version of yourself. ↗

— Anna Banks

#of-poseidon #quote #funny

That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental." I grinned wider. "I totally love this. Who can I punch next? ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#hunter #kick-ass #lucy #funny

You have two emotions—apathy and rage—and nothing in between.” Ellie wanted him to stop, but she could hear the truth in his words. She closed her eyes for his killing blow. “It’s like you’re not even a person. You’re an…organism.” “That’s not true.” Ellie forced her eyes open. “I am a person. I’m just not good at it. ↗

— S.G. Redling

#funny

But I am greedy for life. I do too much of everything all the time. Suddenly one day my heart will fail. The Iron Crab will get me as it got my father. But I am not afraid of The Crab. At least I shall have died from an honourable disease. Perhaps they will put on my tombstone. 'This Man Died from Living Too Much'. ↗

— Ian Fleming

#life

When he talked his eyes went away from mine and then he forced himself to look straight at me and he began to explain and I knew that he felt very strange with me and that he hated me, and it was funny sitting there and talking like that, knowing he hated me. ↗

— Jean Rhys

#funny

Milo refreshed Rae's drink and said, Talk to her. You need to get it off your chest." Then Milo turned to me and said, "Why don't you try a more subtle approach." "I demand you tell me your troubles," I said to my sister. "You're not as funny as you think you are," Rae replied. ↗

— Lisa Lutz

#lisa-lutz #funny

Propping the mirror against the wall near the door, he waved a hand at it and clipped, "Drustan: Cian MacKeltar. Cian: Drustan MacKeltar." "Dageus," Drustan's voice was soft as velvet, never a good sign, "why are you introducing me to a mirror? ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dageus #drustan #funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning

What early tongue so sweet saluteth me? ↗

— William Shakespeare

#to-remember #funny

An arrogant laughs at repentance. ↗

— Toba Beta

#funny #repentance #funny