#t

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. ↗

— George S. Kaufman

#dead #epitaph #eye #finally #god

I understand your new play is full of single entendres. ↗

— George S. Kaufman

#i #new #play #single #understand

To the extent that the judicial profession becomes the daily routine of deciding cases on the most secure precedents and the narrowest grounds available, the judicial mind atrophies and its perspective shrinks. ↗

— Irving R. Kaufman

#atrophies #available #becomes #cases #daily

The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine. ↗

— George S. Kaufman

#examining #home #i #kind #me

When I was born I owed twelve dollars. ↗

— George S. Kaufman

#dollars #i #i was born #owed #twelve

Only things the dreamers make live on. They are the eternal conquerors. ↗

— Herbert Kaufman

#conquerors #dreamers #eternal #live #make

Of all lies, art is the least untrue. ↗

— Gustave Flaubert

#least #lies #untrue

Rich men's sons are seldom rich men's fathers. ↗

— Herbert Kaufman

#fathers #men #rich #seldom #sons

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. ↗

— Irving R. Kaufman

#about #ever #expensive #finding #happened

Courtrooms contain every symbol of authority that a set designer could imagine. Everyone stands up when you come in. You wear a costume identifying you as, if not quite divine, someone special. ↗

— Irving R. Kaufman

#come #contain #costume #could #designer