#table

When everyone just shook their heads, he unbuttoned his shirt and, oh good Lord, shrugged out of it, bunching it up to slip beneath her head like a pillow. Don’t look at him, she told herself. Don’t look— She looked. Sweet Jesus. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#hotty #irresistable #baseball

It already smells good," he said, pointing toward the stove. "It smells... quiet." He looked at her. "Quiet? Could something smell quiet" She was thinking about the phrase, asking herself. He was right. After the pork chops and steaks and roasts she cooked for the family, this was quiet cooking. No violence involved anywhere down the food chain, except maybe for pulling up the vegetables. The stew cooked quietly and smelled quiet. ↗

— Robert James Waller

#vegetarian #family

He will lunch with you at your flat tomorrow at one-thirty. Please remember that he drinks no wine, strongly disapproves of smoking, and can only eat the simplest food, owing to an impaired digestion. Do not offer him coffee, for he considers it the root of half the nerve-trouble in the world." "I should think a dog-biscuit and a glass of water would about meet the case, what?" "Bertie!" "Oh, all right. Merely persiflage." "Now it is precisely that sort of idiotic remark that would be calculated to arouse Sir Roderick's worst suspicions. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#jeeves #food

Sometimes people with low self-esteem will try to punish you for caring about them. ↗

— Wayne Gerard Trotman

#love #low-self-esteem #people #punishment #quotable

I never realized I was so notorious. Infamous, disreputable, villainous, yes, but not notorious. ↗

— Bauvard

#evil #funny #humor #infamous #notorious

Comfortable: relaxed, secure, and in content...It's funny how even the word brings some comfort. We've all experienced it. It's a safe feeling, pure happiness, or emptiness. It's hard to find the right medium & how long you can sustain being uncomfortable. I am a firm believer though that until you let yourself be truly uncomfortable, you can't reap the joys of being truly comfortable. ↗

— Shayna Sandlan

#funny

A mistake is always forgivable, rarely excusable and always unacceptable. ↗

— Robert Fripp

#always #mistake #rarely #unacceptable

I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother always says, "Wait until we're finished eating. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#grandmother #humor #silly #table-dancing #funny

Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes. ↗

— John Green

#homophobia #homosexuality #humor #picnic-tables #religion

The laws of men are not infallible. ↗

— Wayne Gerard Trotman

#infallibility #law #laws #men #people