#tan

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#spontaneity #surprise #humor

Plans are invitation to disappointment. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humorous #plans #spontaneity #humor

People will ask you the question 'how is life treating you?' But my question is 'how are you treating life?' On that your happiness rests ↗

— Rasheed Ogunlaru

#flow #happiness #happyness #inner-peace #questioning

I believe there is a great deal too much mutual confession going on today, as if sharing one’s problems somehow makes them go away. All it really does, of course, is increase the number of people who have to worry about a particular issue. ↗

— Helen Simonson

#major-pettigrew-s-last-stand #humor

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead. ↗

— Stan Laurel

#laurel-and-hardy #laurel-hardy #stan-laurel #humor

Of course, tax revenues have ended up being substantially higher than they were at the time these dire projections were made, and we are very close now to having a balanced budget. All that has been very helpful. ↗

— Charles Vest

#balanced budget #been #being #budget #close

Well now," the scholar went on, "I'm just an old fuddy-duddy who could use a tan, so you needn't grant my opinion any authority, but I consider the queendom lucky that a handful of Milliners and their children lived incognito among the population during Redd's tyranny. ↗

— Frank Beddor

#frank #glass #humor #incognito #looking

Peter! Were you looking for a horse-shoe?" "No; I was expecting the horse, but the shoe is a piece of pure, gorgeous luck." "And observation. I found it." "You did. And I could kiss you for it. You need not shrink and tremble. I am not going to do it. When I kiss you, it will be an important event -- one of those things which stand out among their surroundings like the first time you tasted li-chee. It will not be an unimportant sideshow attached to a detective investigation. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#horse-shoes #horses #humor #importance #kisses

There's never going to be a great misunderstanding of me. I think I'm a little whacked. ↗

— Pamela Anderson

#great #i #i think #little #me

For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person (on Margaret Thatcher) ↗

— Frankie Boyle

#devil #funeral #hell #margaret-thatcher #politics