#ten

I did not tell Fat this, but technically he had become a Buddha. It did not seem to me like a good idea to let him know. After all, if you are a Buddha you should be able to figure it out for yourself. ↗

— Philip K. Dick

#humor #self-awareness #spirituality #humor

Woah,' I said, blocking the doorway. 'You can't come in here. This is the girls' room.' Even as it came out of my mouth, I knew it sounded dumb. Dumb, I thought and maybe even wrong. You...are a boy, aren't you?' I asked. 'I mean, don't take that the wrong way or anything -' J.Lo is a boy, yes.' I let that go. So...you Boov have boys and girls...just like us?' Of course,' said J.Lo. 'Do not be ridicumlous.' I smiled a wan little smile. 'Sorry.' The Boov have seven magnificent genders. There is boy, girl, girlboy, boygirl, boyboy, boyboygirl, and boyboyboyboy.' I had absolutely no response to this. ↗

— Adam Rex

#gender #humor #politeness #humor

Everytime I read 'Pride and Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #jane-austen #humor

As in music, when we hear the crescendo building, suddenly if the music stops, we begin to hear the silence as part of the music. ↗

— Chögyam Trungpa

#enlightenment #humor #music #silence #silent-music

If you'd just learn to do as I say from the beginning, I wouldn't have to follow up your errors with reproving smirks and repeated 'I told you so's. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#listening #richelle #richelle-goodrich #humor

I cook to inspire my husband to pay attention to me. ↗

— Sonia Rumzi

#cooking #husband #inspirational

Let me guess: you were one of those kids who had a chair dedicated to you in detention in school." "Was not. They retired my chair after it sort of accidentally caught on fire. There's a plaque there now. ↗

— Toni McGee Causey

#humor #humor

Seth's quote from his book: "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God and I'd get Him to swap our places" -"Running up that Hill" by Kate Bush ↗

— Richelle Mead

#georgina-kincaid #god #love #relationship #seth-mortensen

Mankind's biggest blunder, ignorance. Mankind's second, infallible. ↗

— M.T. Dismuke

#humor #hypocrisy #sigh #thank-you #humor

And-he was ashamed to admit--he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#paranormal-romance #sharon-ashwood #the-dark-forgotten #unchained #humor