#tin

I like to write when I feel spiteful. It is like having a good sneeze." (Letter to Cynthia Asquith, November 1913) ↗

— D.H. Lawrence

#spite #writing #humor

Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying "Blood...blood...blood...blood... ↗

— Douglas Adams

#ford-anyone #humor #humor

When I was little I bragged about my firefighting father: my father would go to heaven, because if he went to hell he would put out all the fires ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#father #firefighting #heaven #hell #humor

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up. ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#parenting #humor

I totally carpe-d the snot out of this diem! ↗

— Jerry Scott

#humor #latin #zits #humor

I realize that some of you may have come in hopes of hearing tips on how to become a professional writer. I say to you, "If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#education #hurt #writers-on-writing #art

Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#writing #humor

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.'-Jace 'Just break the door down, will you?'-Clary ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #flirting #humor #jace-wayland #humor

I've never said this to a girl before." I bit my lip, waiting. "Well..." He looked down. "I'm not sure how to say this." He took a deep breath and announced, "I really like fighting evil with you. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor #humor

He’s an indulgent sort of man…… With a quick lip and a fierce tongue, the sort of tongue that draws you in with charm and words of praise, awkward silences and desperate worships. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#charm #fierce-tongue #friendship-and-love #jamie-weise #love