#to

Why do humans never do as they're told? Someone should replace you all with robots. No, on second though, they shouldn't, bad idea. ↗

— Jonathan Morris

#doctor-who #humor #science-fiction #humor

Then someone started pounding on the door. And not a little "Hey, what's up?" pound. Like there was a big sale on door pounds down at the Pound Outlet. Buy one, get one free at Pounds-n-Stuff. --Being the Journal of Abby Normal ↗

— Christopher Moore

#christopher-moore #love

It is better to take the other road, even if it's longer. Get a car, maybe" Green Eyes ↗

— A.G. Billig

#romance #short-story #inspirational

That is a considerable amount of puppets. But ... [Proceeds to summon one hundred puppets of his own] With this, I took down a whole country ↗

— Masashi Kishimoto

#humor #naruto #sasori #humor

He ought to buy her a new dress. She would never accept it, of course, but maybe if her current garments were accidentally burned... ...But how could he manage to burn her dress? She’d have to not be wearing it, and that posed a certain challenge in and of itself... ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #humor

You know, drinking milk doesn't make your boobs get any bigger. ↗

— Peach-Pit

#humor #ikuto #manga #shugo-chara #humor

Your neck smells like cheese,' I said. 'Oh,' He said, 'that's my cheese cologne. I have a whole selection. Chedder, American, Swiss. ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor #todd #humor

It's not wrong to hustle hustlers. It's like killing murderers, a public service. -Damon Salvatore ↗

— L.J. Smith

#damon-salvatore #diaries #elena #elena-gilbert #gilbert

I did what I have been told to do by my queen. In so doing, I fell into a trap I couldn't escape. I still can't." "The trap of LUUUUVVVV, I thought sarcastically. But he was too serious, too calm, to mock. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #sookie-stackhouse #humor

So what if those stupid roosters don't want to crow? If we've learned to live without men, we can learn to live without cocks. ↗

— James Cañón

#humor #james-cañón #magic-realism #mariquita #tales-from-the-town-of-widows