#tru

The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#nipple #simile #truth #funny

I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they? ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#cool #desire #erotic #erotica #funny

The next time you're planning to injure yourself to get my attention, just remeber that a little sweet talk works wonders." - City of Bones (said by Jace Wayland) ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-bones #entertainment #funny #humor #jace-wayland

She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#believe #bizarre #funny #honest #honesty

Friendship gives us the strength to turn from lambs into lions. ↗

— Stephen Richards

#friendly #friends #friendship #friendship-and-love #friendship-true-and-loyal

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. ↗

— George Bernard Shaw

#truth #funny

I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks, rubber bands, and lentil beans. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#relationship #trust #funny

A lot of people go searching for “Truth.” But they can’t be searching too hard, because very few of them ever think to look under my bed. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #truth #funny

The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg my friends to treat me that well. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blindfolded #car #friends #friendship #funny

Because he sounded so lost-the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him-I patted around under the covers for his hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would not have thought it possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#funny #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #funny