#tru

When I blow my trumpet to signal the glorious new morning, my cheeks bulge like two scoops of vanilla. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #ice-cream #trumpets #funny

I'm probably something like 95% chicken nugget ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#humor #reality #truth #humor

Taking out werewolves, I gather and surmise, is akin to taking out a SEAL team. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#fair-game #humor #indestructible #leslie #werewolves

The most popular labor saving device is still money. ↗

— Phyllis George

#truth #humor

So there’s this guy named Murphy and he has this law. I hate him. ↗

— Christy Trujillo

#humor #true-north #humor

For those who like that sort of thing," said Miss Brodie in her best Edinburgh voice, "That is the sort of thing they like. ↗

— Muriel Spark

#truth #humor

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway. ↗

— Solange nicole

#humor #life-lessons #philosophy #solange #funny

There is a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.' - Boston, Mass., Oct. 3, 2000 ↗

— George W. Bush

#humor #trust #humor

If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won't sit on a hot stove again. That cat won't sit on a cold stove either. That cat just don't like stoves. ↗

— Mark Twain

#life #truth #humor

Goodreads sports some of the social awkwardness of middle school. If you are looking for a friend, I promise no matter your background or book preferences I will be your friend. :) ↗

— Red Phoenix

#social-commentary #truths #humor