#um

You can't judge a book by it's cover but you can sure sell a bunch of books if you have a good one. ↗

— Jayce O'Neal

#drjayce #humor #jayce #jayceoneal #publishing

I like people too much or not at all. ↗

— Sylvia Plath

#humor

Hindi naman porke’t may hiwa at dyoga ay okay na. Titigas na. Hindi naman DPWH ang kargada ko na “Basta may lubak, tambak. Basta may butas, pasak. ↗

— Eros S. Atalia

#humor

I clawed my eyes open and rolled off my bed. For some reason, someone had moved the floor several feet lower than I had expected, and I fell and crashed with a thud. Ow. A blond head popped over the side of the bed, and a familiar male voice asked, “Are you okay down there?” Curran. The Beast Lord was in my bed. No, wait a minute. I didn’t have a bed, because my insane aunt had destroyed my apartment. I was mated to the Beast Lord, which meant I was in the Keep, in Curran’s rooms, and in his bed. Our bed. Which was four feet high. Right. “Kate?” “I’m fine.” “Would you like me to install one of those child playground slides for you? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #humor

Dude, your girlfriend is so far past high maintenance even the janitor quit. ↗

— Samantha Young

#high-maintenance #humor #humor

Oh, wonderful. I killed his father. He hates me. He knows how to make bombs. Come on, Wedge, how does this story end? ↗

— Aaron Allston

#humor

Wii Sports: All the frustration of real sports with out the physical exercise. ↗

— Felix Harneis

#humor #physical-exercise #sports #wii #humor

Will I have to use a litter box?" --Emma to Max after he just explained she'll be turning into a puma shifter The Wallflower (Halle Pumas Book 1) ↗

— Dana Marie Bell

#shapeshifter #humor

Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet. ↗

— George Carlin

#school #humor

Your head is where ideas go to die! ↗

— Dilbert Comic Strip

#dilbert #humor #ideas #humor