#um

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor

Tacos." "Tacos?" I echoed. This seemed to amuse him. "Tomatoes, lettuce, cheese." "I know what a taco is! ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#patch-cipriano #tacos #humor

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure. ↗

— George Bernard Shaw

#humor

The universe may not always play fair, but at least it's got a hell of a sense of humor. ↗

— Candace Bushnell

#humor

CONJUGATE THIS: I cut class, you cut class, he, she, it cuts class. We cut class, they cut class. We all cut class. I cannot say this in Spanish because I did not go to Spanish today. Gracias a dios. Hasta luego. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#humor #school #spanish #humor

I knew I could do it all this time,” said Harry, “because I'd already done it... does that make sense? ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor

The love of books is among the choicest gifts of the gods. ↗

— Arthur Conan Doyle

#humor #humor

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. ↗

— Isaac Asimov

#humor

That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know." "Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind." "I so wish you hadn't said that. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #vampires #humor

You're Valentine's son. I'm sure you're the one the Queen really wants to see. Besides, you're charming. Maybe not at the moment. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor