#um

And that's when it fell off in my hand ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor

I like your boyfriend," Dahra said. "Not many guys volunteer to carry ten gallons of diarrhea and vomit." Lana laughed. "He's not my boyfriend." "Yeah, well, he can be mine if he wants to be. He's cute. And he carries crap. ↗

— Michael Grant

#gone #humor #michael-grant #plague #humor

I have no pretensions whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man. ↗

— Jane Austen

#humor

You know what I need to do?" "Buy earrings?" "I need to fully embed myself in Gabriel's life. I need to get to know the real Gabriel Archer." "You need to buy new earrings," Heather said. Scarlet ignored Heather and went on. "No more excuses. The time has come. Today, I am going over to Gabriel's house after school." "Good for you. Now let's talk about shoes." Heather put her magazine down. "They suck. ↗

— Chelsea Fine

#humor

That's very rude," Myrnin said. "I haven't brought my fangs our for some time. Not in mixed company, anyway. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville #myrnin #vampires #humor

The look in Manny´s eye was the ocular equivalent of a middle finger... ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

They're a little strange, but I'm pretty sure neither of them is going to try to make me uncomfortable by stripping naked. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#humor

A knock came at the door. Everyone looked up. Elena's nostrils flared and she leaned over to whisper something to Clay. "Fuck," he muttered. "Keep talking, Jaime. It's only Cassandra. She can wait. Forever, if we're lucky." "I heard that, Clayton," Cassandra said as she walked in. "Who the hell forgot to lock the door?" Clay said. "You were the last one in," Elena murmured. "Damn. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#humor #mistrust #humor

What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf." "thats going to work out well for me," Cal said. "because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#love #humor

Eww," Jack said, and then giggled. "Yeah, and a Paris Hilton doll that had an optional brain."Aphrodite raised her brow at him. "Don't go all crazy. There are some things even Paris Hilton can't buy. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#humor