#um

The Queen's Pride was his ship, and he loved her. (That was the way his sentences always went: It is raining today and I love you. My cold is better and I love you. Say hello to Horse and I love you. Like that.) ↗

— William Goldman

#humor #love #humor

I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?" "Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything." "Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?" Annabeth asked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dumb #humor #insult #percy-jackson #rachel-dare

I've always thought people would find a lot more pleasure in their routines if they burst into song at significant moments. ↗

— John Barrowman

#happiness #humor #music #humor

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#simile #humor

For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future. But through whatever you see, through all the rain and the pain, you gotta keep your sense of humor. You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit. Remember that. ↗

— Tupac Shakur

#humor

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#humor #time-travel #humor

Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is." "It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook." "Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon-lewis #humor

Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die. ↗

— John Green

#humor #wise #humor

We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has. ↗

— William Goldman

#humor #optimism #survival #humor