#um

The Circus-Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war. This is the sixth Reich. The ground floor is full of gambling tables, like all the other casinos . . . but the place is about four stories high, in the style of a circus tent, and all manner of strange County-Fair/Polish Carnival madness is going on up in this space. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#nazis #vegas #humor

Chapter Sixteen: “Me? I go wherever the wind blows…and wherever the whiskey shots are half price. ↗

— Nicki Elson

#party #humor

A word, Sir Jamie. Quickly!" You may speak freely, Alwyn," Jamie sighed. "You are always making too mcuh of minor incidents." You're no' going to believe it, Sir Jamie," Alwyn gasped. "But I swear every male Fergusson alive is outside our gate. ↗

— Johanna Lindsey

#humor #raid #humor

Shortly after this exchange my roommate suggested we start throwing water balloons at the construction workers. Not really at them because, I know, I know, it's not their fault. But believe me, it's hard to look down and see a man with a seven-speed power drill plowing through a brick wall and tell yourself he's not responsible for the noise. ↗

— Sloane Crosley

#humor

The fortifications have never been attacked, nor has any sane man ever proposed any reason why they should be attacked. They have never defended anything. Fourteen hundred persons are said to have died while building them. Of these fourteen hundred, about half are said to have been executed in public for substandard zeal. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor #vonnegut #zeal #humor

It's a certainty, but it just might work. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor

Besides—only people from Arelon are taken by the Shaod. It an take Teoish people, but only if they're living in Arelon at the time. Oh, and it takes the occasional Dula as well." "I hadn't noticed. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor

Fuel-efficient my big engine is not. I drove 38 miles and burned through more than a quarter-tank of expensive premium gas. Every time I accelerated I could sense a Saudi Arabian somewhere was smiling. ↗

— C.D. Payne

#humor

If you put that straight jacket on me, I am going to pull your endocrine system out of your body. ↗

— Gary Busey

#humor

They were going to expel me. Mom convinced them not to... and got them to apologize," Fern said, almost embarrassed. Really?" Eddie said. "See, Sammy, you don't mess with the Commander, do you?" Eddie playfully hit his younger brother in the stomach with the back of his hand. When the Commander says jump...," Sam started. We say, 'yes ma'am, how high?'" Eddie ended with a forehead salute. ↗

— Jennifer Anne Kogler

#humor #humor