#up

Even Cronus, the Titan who literally had his kids for breakfast, would find these facts hard to swallow. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#greek-mythology #humor #mythology #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #humor

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#stupidity #humor

Alice is fictional. This isn't. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#dark-humor #group-think #groupthink #lady-gaga #mad-magazine

[Francesca] 'You really are a few biscuits short of breakfast.' His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'You're a few colors shy of a rainbow?' she offered. 'Not pulling a full wagon? Knitting with only one needle? All foam and no beer? Your cheese slid off the cracker? You couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel?' [Nicodemus] 'All right. I get it. ↗

— Blake Charlton

#insults #metaphor #stupidity #humor

I would have to break the ice with a warm smile that would melt her heart. ↗

— Tai Odunsi

#humor #love #olympus #percy #valentine

I am so stupid, so easily fooled. It's really almost funny. If I could lift a finger I would gladly kill myself. ↗

— Will Christopher Baer

#stupidity #suicide #funny

Prickly When I'm feeling porcupine-y, I get nasty, I get whiny. Stay away or I might stick you. My sharp words are quills to prick you. ↗

— Laura Purdie Salas

#humor #poetry-quotes #porcupine #humor

Commoners Supermarket! Commoners Supermarket! ↗

— Hikaru and Koaru Hitachiin

#manga #supermarkets #humor

I actually grew fond of her in a nastily superior kind of way. For she was so completely artless and optimistic and clueless, she didn't care that she smelled bad or was fat or wore clothes unlike everyone else's, she had some weird disconnect with life that kept her constantly bubbling, and you knew she would go blithely through her long horribly boring life thinking every thing was just swell (the opposite of me). ↗

— Peter Cameron

#superiority #humor

It's not like I got caught masturbating, for chrissake; she doesn't know me, why the hell would she care if I'm superstitious? - Karen ↗

— S.D. Perry

#superstition #humor