#us

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. ↗

— Jay Leno

#call #correspondents #do you know #house #know

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. ↗

— Jay Leno

#given #iraqi #name #operation #pentagon

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue. ↗

— Jay Leno

#asked #baseball #because #during #fact

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bullets #changing #crime #just #just be

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. ↗

— Jay Leno

#heard #mother #until #you

In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously. ↗

— Jay Leno

#america #anonymously #doing #everyone #good

The Bible must be considered as the great source of all the truth by which men are to be guided in government as well as in all social transactions. ↗

— Noah Webster

#considered #government #great #great source #guided

Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference. ↗

— Jay Leno

#bill clinton #bush #clinton #course #day

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. ↗

— Jay Leno

#attack #bush #bush administration #iraq #lining

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#enormous #exterior #flabby #lack #underneath