#usa

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! ↗

— Andy Rooney

#cows #marriage #men #pigs #sausage

My background is in hardware design. I found hardware work to be a welcome change from thousands of hours of programming and that led to the designs you mentioned. ↗

— David Crane

#change #design #designs #found #hardware

You read any Greek myths, puppy? The one about the gorgon Medusa, particularly? I used to wonder what could be so terrible that you couldn't survive even looking at it. Until I got a little older and I figured out the obvious answer. Everything. ↗

— Mike Carey & Peter Gross

#everything #gorgon #greek-myths #medusa #age

Preserve your own mystery. We live in an age of social media and what seems like extreme sharing of personal details. I would beg to differ that these revelations are not honest truths but more self-branding. Whatever the case, save a little bit, or a lot, for yourself. If you run around naked all the time, when the storm hits, you’ll have no raincoat. ↗

— Susan Kirschbaum

#quote #susan-kirschbaum #age

You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy, if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way, than as it spared the concern which I might have felt in refusing you, had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner." (Elizabeth Bennett) ↗

— Jane Austen

#behaviour #declaration #empowerment #gentlemanlike #gentlemen

I was tired. I hadn't slept eight hours in two, three years. I lived on four, five hours of sleep. You can do it during a campaign because thousands are screaming for you. You're getting adrenaline shots each day. Then the campaign ends, and there are no more shots. ↗

— George McGovern

#because #campaign #day #during #each

The intersection of pork and man was circumscribed with vagueness. Until now sausage was a mysterious world: the fenced-in landscapes of strange, exotic muds, the cloak-and-dagger butchers that veiled their conversations in Old French, the silencing of whole towns upon a nocturnal report of a flying swarm of oinks, the secret herbs and spices involved in the intestinal displacement before my screen. My own sacred art suddenly stirred a sense of understanding in me as to why pig farmers were so reluctant to explain their missing bicuspids to outsiders: sausage could not have effects. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#mystery #sausage #secret-society #art

There is more to joy than looking only for affirmation; refusing to be challenged is the only bigotry. ↗

— Criss Jami

#bigotry #challenges #confidence #conflict-resolution #courage

Nothing takes the romance and grandeur out of life than scrubbing stains out of sheets. ↗

— Susan Ee

#susan-ee #life

I've realized, over many years, that it is inescapable...anything can be art. Yet, in my heart, I have to believe there is an exception for musicals. ↗

— John P. Sousa

#funny-art-quotes #john-p-sousa #art