#v

I couldn't take much more of this. Being the object two men competed for wasn't as glamorous as it sounded in the movies. The two men who both wanted one hundred percent of my time weren't dashing, international playboys. They were undead and surprisingly immature, considering the youngest was just over a hundred years old. ↗

— Jennifer Armintrout

#love-triangle #men-and-women #relationships #humor

I had lied so much lately that I was honestly surprised my pants weren't literally made of fire. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #humor

Despite the fact that an Indonesian island chicken has probably had a much more natural life than one raised on a battery farm in England, people who wouldn't think twice about buying something oven-ready become much more upset about a chicken that they've been on a boat with, so there is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#ethics #humor #vegetarian #vegetarianism #humor

Why go for something cold and dead, when you can have something hot and panting? ↗

— K.R. Smith

#vampires #werewolves #humor

Seth's quote from his book: "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God and I'd get Him to swap our places" -"Running up that Hill" by Kate Bush ↗

— Richelle Mead

#georgina-kincaid #god #love #relationship #seth-mortensen

I would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s. I wouldn’t trade the small thin-lipped mouth that makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldn’t even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, because that recurring zit spent more time with me in college than any boy ever did. ↗

— Tina Fey

#boys #humor #love #humor

I really like beer. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#humor #wolverine #humor

In his old life, the answer would have been easy: He'd have just put a gun to Vin's head and dragged the fucker to the altar. Now? He needed to be a little more civilized. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#jim-heron #marriage #vin #humor

she walked rather quickly; she liked to be active, though at times she gave an impression of repose that was at once static and evocative. This was because she knew few words and believed in none, and in the world she was rather silent, contributing just her share of urbane humor with a precision that approached meagreness. But at the moment when strangers tended to grow uncomfortable in the presence of this economy she would seize the topic and rush off with it, feverishly surprised with herself--then bring it back and relinquish it abruptly, almost timidly, like an obedient retriever, having been adequate and something more. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#silence #silent #timid #words #humor

But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor #mystery-novels #humor