#v

If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. ↗

— Quentin Crisp

#inspirational #self-discovery #humor

We'd better get. But y'all have a nice night," I say. Apparently, fear turns me Texan. A startling personality insight that I'll jot down later if I'm not dead in a ditch. ↗

— A.M. Robinson

#vampire #young-adult #humor

Close your eyes, and think of someone you physically admire, and let me kiss you. ↗

— Morrissey

#love #lyrics #music #humor

How did you hear about that?' 'Are you kidding me? So far, I had that runt Kyle-' 'I hate him. I hate all vamps. That complete toad, Michael-' '-tell me you were pregnant by a vamp-' 'kidnnaped me and-Kyle said WHAT?' 'and then a member of the Domi shows up and informs me-' 'The Domi sent someone HERE?' '-that you're actually pregnant by the late king of the Fey.' 'Late?!' Heidar squeaked. ↗

— Karen Chance

#damphir #dorina #fey #fiction #humor

I felt a strange fluttering sensation in my chest. Butterflies, cardiac arrest . . . it was hard to say what exactly. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#love #humor

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually - from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#doctor-who #humor #inspirational #the-doctor #time-travel

Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin. ↗

— Brian P. Cleary

#observation #humor

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell ↗

— Philip Henry Sheridan

#hell #humor #humour #philip-h-sheridan #texas

You’re playing the creepy vibe a little hard,” I said. “Might as well go for broke, put on a black top hat and pipe in some organ music. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #humor

Henry Jones: I didn't know you could fly a plane! Indiana Jones: Fly -- yes, land -- no. ↗

— Rob MacGregor

#movies #humor