#vampire

Eve: She told me last! Shane: Boyfriend! Michael: Landlord! Eve: Crap. Right. Next time you sell your soul to the devil, I get first contact! ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #michael-glass #morganville-vampires #devil

Vampires should never say Uh-Oh!! ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#vampire

Never give up, Never surrender!!!!! If you think you can't, then you must, if you must, then you can..Tony Robbins ↗

— Paula V. Hardin

#books #dark #gothic #reading #romance

Wait, Richard Cheney, as in Dick Cheney? You're a vampire named Dick Cheney? Somehow, that makes you seem more evil. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humor #politcal-humor #vampires #funny

Just because we don't understand why they'd cover up something doesn't mean they aren't," Bobby said, and we both turned to look at him. "Now you just sound paranoid," I said. "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you," Bobby said with an expression so serious that I couldn't help but laugh. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#funny #paranoid #vampires #funny

I'm not the one going for a biology degree. I'm just a philosophy major who eats people. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#funny #humor #parasites #vampires #zombies

At the last parent visitation night I'd sorta accidentally watched a majorly nightmarish scene between Aphrodite and her parents. Her dad's the mayor of Tulsa. Her mom might be Satan. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#vampire #humor

I’ve read about this in books, imagined it in my mind countless times since I’ve been here, but to actually witness it is something entirely different. I thought I was prepared, but nothing—no amount of book learning or supposed life experience or bravado—can make you invulnerable to the sight of a vampire drinking blood. ↗

— Melika Dannese Lux

#corcitura #madelaine-bradburry #reality #revelations #stefan-belododia

Count yourself fortunate." He made an elegant sweep of his hand toward the sun. "Daylight does not make them turn to ash, but they become bloody damn infants, whinging on about irritated eyes and sluggish limbs and so forth. ↗

— Lynn Viehl

#humor #vampire #funny

First bubble baths. Now Disney parks. You're shattering every creep vampire myth I've ever heard. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#kira #mencheres #myth #vampires #humor