#vampire

I'm just being practial. I knew someday I might have to bare my throat to you. Pete and I discussed that very possibility. As for the danger and risk taking, that's what Pete pays me to do. And you and I both know he inteneds to get his money's worth." Jasmine, I cannot-" Why not!" Because you are not food!" I stared at him for a minute; the I started to grin. I couldn't help it. Vayl"-I tried to keep my face straight- "I'm not asking you to eat me. ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#humor #vampires #food

Couldn’t you hypnotize her or something?" "It doesn’t work like that." "I thought vampires were all sex gods with the ladies." Cade looked at him. "What gave you that idea?" "Uh ... late-night TV, mostly ..." "Humans are our food. Do you want to have sex with a cow? ↗

— Christopher Farnsworth

#vampire #food

Also, vampires don't eat food. You never get to eat chocolate again. Ever. I'd rather die. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#human #vampire #food

Henry held up his taco- formerly Vlad's- and grinned. " Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius." pg248 Henry to Vlad & Joss ↗

— Heather Brewer

#henry #humor #joss #tacos #vampire

They hurt you. You hurt 'em back. Or maybe it is the other way around. Whatever. Someday you might find a way to forgive each other. But it won't be like it used to 'cause that pain never really goes away. ↗

— Brian K. Vaughan

#unresolved-feelings #unresolved-relationships #forgiveness

Inhaling, I am ignited with the first breath of freedom ↗

— Poppet

#vampire-romance #freedom

At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time." "Made myself a batch with it," Shane said. "It's got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don't bitch if you get flamed. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#chilli #funny #morganville-vampires #funny

For most vampires, it's an automatic response - scent blood, fangs drop. ↗

— J.A. London

#funny #vampires #funny

Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #the-dead-girls-dance #funny

It's a sweet setup, I'll admit. For all that the maids STILL show up each day with jumbo crucifixes, jumpy movements, and red eyes from crying over the short straw that drew them vampire duty.' Yesterday, she'd just stopped herself from raising her clenched hands above her head and chasing one of them around the room groaning, 'I vant to suck your blood. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #vampire #vampires #funny