#w

Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward ↗

— J.R. Ward

#tips #writing #funny

Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today." I groaned. That would be just like me - ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#bella-swan #funny #new-moon #twilight-saga #funny

People keep asking "Jacob or Edward?" when the really important question is "Diamond Dave or Sammy? ↗

— Ysabeau S. Wilce

#twilight #van-halen #funny

If a problem can be solved, there is nothing to worry about. If it can't be solved, well you can always buy chocolate :) ↗

— Pablo

#funny #funny

Don't go there Rule" Lawe warned him softly. " I don't think your horoscope declared today to be a good day to die. ↗

— Lora Leigh

#funny #lawe-s-justice #threat #funny

Come live with us, Diana. Don't argue. Just say yes." Diana looked at the ground to hide her emotions. Then she said, "Would I have to be hearing you two going at it night and day? ↗

— Michael Grant

#come-live-with-us #diana #funny #gone #gone-series

Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first ↗

— S.A. Bodeen

#s-a-bodeen #the-compound #wit #funny

Companionship is a foreign concept to some people. They fear it as much as the majority of people fear loneliness. ↗

— Criss Jami

#companion #companionship #different #extroversion #fear

If I could fly, life would be amazing. But paraplegic people say the same thing about walking, and I freaking hate walking. Somebody might ask me, “Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” and I’ll reply, “Nope. But I do want to have a seat on a chair with wheels and roll along with you.” So maybe flight isn’t so cool after all. Possibly birds get pissed off they have to fly everywhere. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birds #flight #flying #walking #life

Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?" "No! Good God, no! ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#cam #code-word #cookie #cookies #funny