#w

The great William Shakespeare said, "What's in a name?" He also said, "Call me Billy one more time and I will stab you with this ink quill. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#name #quill #william-shakespeare #funny

Unless the object of the singer’s affection is a vampire, surely what Hart means is unphotogenic. Only vampires are unphotographable, but affectionate ‘-enic’ rhymes are hard to come by. ↗

— Stephen Sondheim

#lyricism #my-funny-valentine #rhymes #songwriting #valentine

Depending on your point of view, Ashley (or Leslie Howard) was sensitive, poetic, and enigmatic-- or wan and a wimp. Rhett/Clark Gable was sexy, virile, and funny or just crude and unmannerly. The outcome was a crucial barometer of taste that would reveal a great deal, possibly too much, about a girl's temperament and predilections. ↗

— Molly Haskell

#frankly #gone #my #wind #with

You tell your brother he's gonna pay for that car in silver. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#funny #revenge #werewolf #funny

I used to go to Vegas and play the horses, and then I realised how ridiculous that was. There is no winning in gambling, but there is on the stock market. ↗

— Josh Brolin

#go #horses #how #i #market

Why is abbreviation such a long word? ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

It is not really hard to do nothing. Many can. The hard part is doing nothing without feeling guilty about it. ↗

— Haim Shapira

#happiness #wisdom #funny

So what can I really do? If you can jump through a two-story window, then what can I do?" "You can do that too. You don't need wings to do it,either. ↗

— Courtney Allison Moulton

#jump #window #wings #funny

I never said you were supposed to be a jailer, i only said a normal person would have questioned why someone would create a decoy nun and then crawl out the window. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#normal #writer #funny

I ran into an old friend on the street and we started up a conversation. Four hours and six bottles of wine later, we decided the weather was just too unpredictable, and we parted ways. ↗

— Bauvard

#friendship #funny #humor #weather #friendship