#w

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators. ↗

— Steven Wright

#department store #people #power #store #trapped

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules? ↗

— Steven Wright

#asked #guy #i #kid #schedules

Is it weird in here, or is it just me? ↗

— Steven Wright

#just #me #weird

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. ↗

— Steven Wright

#dali #dotted #every #fish #fishing

I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. ↗

— Steven Wright

#buy #general #i #me #specifically

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. ↗

— Steven Wright

#had #heads #i #museum #museums

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose. ↗

— Steven Wright

#children #few #i #purpose #wrote

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?" ↗

— Steven Wright

#asked #border #canada #crossing #firearms

I'm not, by nature, a collaborator. My biggest influences were people like painters and poets. These are solitary workers. ↗

— Robert Wyatt

#collaborator #i #influences #like #nature

The desire to fly is an idea handed down to us by our ancestors who... looked enviously on the birds soaring freely through space... on the infinite highway of the air. ↗

— Wilbur Wright

#ancestors #birds #desire #down #fly