#we

(...) And who cares if you flash people your underwear, as long as you're kicking the crap out of them?" Lynn goes silent, like she recognizes that as a spark of brilliance but can't bring herself to admit it. "What's this about underwear?" Says Uriah, sidestepping a bunk. "Whatever it is, I'm in. ↗

— Veronica Roth

#insurgent #underwear #uriah #veronica-roth #funny

This is an Aston Martin, Gin.You don't run over dead bodies in an Aston Matin." "Tell that to James Bond ↗

— Jennifer Estep

#comeback #funny #james-bond #web-of-lies #funny

You said you'd give me half an hour!' 'And you said you'd satisfy me whenever I wanted it. I want it now.' He removed is jacket. 'Drop the towel.' 'I-I never agreed to be naked! ↗

— Kresley Cole

#naked #towel #funny

Besides, what do I know about being a wife? There are much more important qualities to have than a docile disposition. ↗

— C.J. Redwine

#girl-power #funny

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #money #odd

Yeah,” said Harry. “No more pretending we care what happens when Jupiter and Uranus get too friendly . . .” “And from now on, I don’t care if my tea leaves spell die, Ron, die — I’m just chucking them in the bin where they belong. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny #harry-potter #o-w-l-s #ron-weasley #funny

And you'd think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn't. It just- it just makes them dead. ↗

— Joe Walker (as Voldemort in AVPM)

#joe-walker #supermegafoxyawesomehot #totally-awesome #voldemort #wise-words

Don't go there Rule" Lawe warned him softly. " I don't think your horoscope declared today to be a good day to die. ↗

— Lora Leigh

#funny #lawe-s-justice #threat #funny

Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#awkward #funny #maureen-johnson #shades-of-london #funny

I know that look. What are you up to, Gwen?" "What makes you think I'm up to something?" The Valkyrie snorted. "You're breathing, aren't you? ↗