#odd

She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her.
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— Jarod Kintz

#believe #bizarre #funny #honest #honesty

Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alone #bizarre #funny #hog #humor

On savings: A dollar here, a dollar there. Over time, it adds up to two dollars.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #money #odd

Great minds think alike-especially when they are female. ↗

— Christina Dodd

#dowager-queen #funny #funny

Christopher throws dandelion head after dandelion head into his bag. It's getting heavy now and his fingers are stained from the work but there are still so many left to kill. His biggest mistake is giving them names. ↗

— Brian Martinez

#funny #odd #quirky #weeds #funny

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blot-out #cloud #funny #humor

The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don't got nothing much to say. About anything. "Need a poo, Todd." "Shut up, Manchee." "Poo. Poo, Todd." "I said shut it. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#knife-of-never-letting-go #manchee #todd #humor

In those moments it's hard to remember that an angry voice is an invisible thing incapable of drawing blood. ↗

— Amanda Howells

#intriguing #odd #truth #humor

And then his noise falls completely silent- And he stops struggling- And looking right into my eyes- He dies. My Todd dies. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#sad #shot #todd #death

Rory: "People are being serious." Jazza: "There's a serial killer out there. Of course people are being serious." Rory: "Yeah, but what are the chances?" Jazza: "I bet all of the victims thought that." Rory: "But still, what are the chances?" Jazza: "Well, I imagine they are several million to one." Jerome: "Not that high. You're only dealing with a small part of London. And while there might be a million or more people in that area, the Ripper is probably focusing on women, because all of the original victims were women. So halve that--" Jazza: "You really need another hobby. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#jazza #jerome #odds #rory #serial-killer