#we

I'm a werewolf trapped in a human body." "Well, yeah, that's kind of the definition." "No, really. I'm trapped." "Oh? When was the last time you shape-shifted?" "That's just it - I've never shape-shifted." "So you're not really a werewolf." "Not yet. But I was meant to be one, I just know it. How do I get a werewolf to attack me?" Stand in the middle of a forest under a full moon with a raw steak tied to your face, holding a sign that says, 'Eat me; I'm stupid'? ↗

— Carrie Vaughn

#stupidity #werewolves #humor

Gwen stopped putting her money in the bag. "You're giving your father a picture of a door for his birthday?" And she'd thought Mitch marking up pages in her copy of Vogue and telling her, "This is what I'd get you for your birthday if I had money" had been cheap. ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humor #lock #mitch #humor

I went to study some orchestration stuff because I got so inspired working with all the orchestras. ↗

— Dido Armstrong

#got #i #inspired #orchestras #orchestration

You should go." "I can't." "Because you want to stare at the monster?" Alec's green eyes blaze, but with a wholly human fire now. "Or because you pity me?" I couldn't guess which possibility he loathes more. I fold my arms. "I can't leave because the door's locked. Believe me, I would've gone hours ago if I could have." "Oh. Of course." Then he looks so abashed--so boyish, and so handsome--that I almost want to laugh. ↗

— Claudia Gray

#werewolf-paranormal-romance #humor

As a rule of thumb, it was always safer if the Commander-in-Chief formulated a risky plan. ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#award-winning #grievous #humor #novel #romance

Rob opened the door, and a tiny kitten ran out. It stopped to sniff Rob‟s ankle and arched its back, spitting tiny kitty defiance at him. Rob scooped it up. The tiny black bundle barely filled his palm. Dark as ink, the only mark on it was a tiny white spot between its eyes. Rob looked up from the kitten to meet Jamie‟s wide-eyed attempt at innocence. "There was a cat in my closet." "I can explain," Jamie offered. Rob returned to the bed. He dropped the kitten in Jamie‟s lap, causing it to poke unfortunate things with tiny needle claws. "Damn!" Jamie yelped, grabbing the kitten and putting a sheet between his delicate parts and danger. "I took out the trash yesterday, and there she was almost buried in a snow bank shivering." "It was ninety degrees yesterday, and there is no snow." Rob sat down on the edge of the bed. "Aren‟t you supposed to hate cats?" Jamie cuddled the tiny creature in his hands. It wrestled with his fingers. "That‟s dogs. I‟m not a dog, I‟m a wolf. There might not have been a snow bank, but it was dirty and hungry and very sad. ↗

— Diane Adams

#humor #m-m-paranormal #m-m-romance #werewolves #humor

So you don't speak English, you have no ID, you can't tell where you're from... that's suspicion, it's lower than probable cause. And then we have a right to call immigration and check you out. ↗

— Joe Arpaio

#cause #check #english #id #immigration

The executive moves we are announcing today will strengthen American for the long-term future and reflect well on the depth of the Company's management team. ↗

— Gerard Arpey

#announcing #company #depth #executive #future

When we first got married, we made a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all of the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions. For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement. I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage. However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn’t been one big decision. ↗

— Albert Einstein

#marriage #men #power #women #humor

It may be escapist, but if I have a choice between watching the news or reading a book which gets me to see the world through different eyes, I will always choose the latter! ↗

— Christina Westover

#christina-westover #escapism #humor #inspiration #news