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Read through the most famous quotes by topic #wed
It's not the concept of marriage I have a problem with. I'd like to get married too. A couple times. It's the actual wedding that pisses me off. The problem is that everyone who gets married seems to think that they are the first person in the entire universe to do it, and that the year leading up to the event revolves entirely around them. You have to throw them showers, bachelor-ette weekends, buy a bridesmaid dress, and then buy a ticket to some godforsaken town wherever they decide to drag you. If you're really unlucky, they'll ask you to recite a poem at their wedding. That's just what I want to do- monitor my drinking until I'm done with my public service announcement. And what do we get out of it, you ask? A dry piece of chicken and a roll in the hay with their hiibilly cousin. I could get that at home, thanks. Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the first person was who said this was okay. After spending all that money on a bachelorette weekend, a shower, and often a flight across the country, they expect you to go to Williams Sonoma or Pottery Barn and do research? Then they send you a thank-you note applauding you for such a thoughtful gift. They're the one who picked it out! I always want to remind the person that absolutely no thought went into typing in a name and having a salad bowl come up. ↗
Life, weddings, relationships, road trips, gardening, making out, haircuts: few of the fun things in life always go as expected. ↗
[In 16th century European society] Marriage was the triumphal arch through which women, almost without exception, had to pass in order to reach the public eye. And after marriage followed, in theory, the total self-abnegation of the woman. ↗
And you and I know you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, and, yes, that’s an expression, something people say, that has no meaning, but what I mean is there isn’t anybody in the whole world who has loved me the way you have, not my mother, not my old man, not my friends. There’s nothing preventing me and you from loving each other and being some kinda world-class shining beacon of love except how bad do we want it and what are we willing to do for it? Now, I know I did you wrong, and I was freaking out and being stupid and I was mean to you. You know sometimes I get all fucking confused and I can’t see outside of my own asshole. I’m unhappy. Why am I unhappy? It’s gotta be somebody’s fault, right? It couldn’t just be that I’m a self-centered fuck spinning around inside my own dank cloud of concerns. There isn’t anything I can think of that I really want or that the best part of me wants, that loving you won’t start doing. I love you. ↗
He can't get it up!" Richard is exultant... Oh God. This is how rumors start. This is how misunderstandings happen and archdukes get shot and world wars begin. "Listen, both of you!" I say fiercely. "Lottie has said nothing whatsoever to me about anything being up...or down." "Mine is up," volunteers Noah matter-of-factly, and I gasp in horror before I can stop myself. OK, Fliss. Don't overreact. Be cool. Be an enlightened parent. "Really, darling? Gosh. Well." My cheeks have flamed. Both men are waiting with expressions of glee. "That's...that's interesting, sweetheart. Maybe we'll have a little talk about it later. Our bodies do wonderful, mysterious things, but we don't always talk about them in public." I give a meaningful look to Richard. Noah seems perplexed. "But the lady talked about it. She told me to put it up." "What?" I stare at him in confusion. "For takeoff. 'Put your tray table up." "Oh." I gulp. "Oh, I see. Your tray table." I can feel a snort of mirth rising. "Poor Uncle Ben's tray table doesn't go up," says Richard, deadpan. ↗
