#weird

A brick would make an excellent unit of currency. Pros: It’s cheaper than a bar of gold; you don’t have to break into anybody’s house to get at all their money; and I’ve already got fourteen of them buried in my backyard. Cons: It doesn’t easily fit into one’s wallet; it is easily counterfeited; and houses would literally be made of money—which presents a problem of how to set their value and what form of payment would be accepted in the purchase of a new all-brick home. Similarity with the dollar: Masons would still control the money supply and the Federal Reserve.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want to leave the Love Door open, because my ex just shit all in there.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Using the word weird implies that there is a norm. ↗

— Robyn Hitchcock

#norm #using #weird #word

He looked at Azaire, and his left eyelid slid down over the eyeball, remaining in place long enough for the broken blood vessels beneath the skin and the small wart to be visible before it was rotated smoothly back to its home beneath the skull. ↗

— Sebastian Faulks

#home

But why?" Vimbai whispered, overwhelmed with the weight of accumulated disbelief. "What is happening to us?" "Who knows?" Maya shrugged. "Who cares? Enjoy it while you can, why don't you? There will be tons of boring shit in your life, okay? I promise. ↗

— Ekaterina Sedia

#weirdness #life

A brick could be used as gift for the man who has everything. Here’s a tip: that man doesn’t have everything, because I just stole his wallet. But I can’t very well give him a gift of something I’ve just grifted. So while he’s pondering the meaning of the brick as a present, I’m off spending his money. It’s win-win for both of us. And by both of us I mean me and you, not me and him, because naturally you’ll be my accomplice, my partner, and as such you’re entitled to half. Of half. But since I’m paying you 25%, you’re paying for dinner. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Somewhere there are gardens where peacocks sing like nightingales, somewhere there are caravans of separated lovers traveling to meet each other; there are ruby fires on distant mountains, and blue comets that come in spring like sapphires in the black sky. If this is not so, meet me in the shameful yard, and we will plant a gallows tree, and swing like sad pendulums, never once touching. ↗

— K.J. Bishop

#weird #surreal

I didn't even have pierced ears. They put four holes in each ear, and, weirdly, that hurt the most. ↗

— Rooney Mara

#ear #ears #even #four #holes

Jonathan Lynn is one of the last actors Orsen Welles used in a production. It was wonderful. He's very sharp, very sharp. It's funny I've been asked how weird it was to have a Brit do a church gospel movie. ↗

— Cuba Gooding, Jr.

#been #church #funny #gospel #how

Anyone who has that weird volition to become an actor probably has a weird volition to do lots of other creative things - to write, to play music, to paint, to cook. ↗

— Minnie Driver

#anyone #become #cook #creative #lots