#wi

But just to make sure, I went down to the library, switched on the computer and typed ‘vampire vs. werewolf fight winner’ into the Google search browser. The machine whirred for zero point twenty-three seconds before it came up with some four million results. Obviously, I wasn’t the only nutter interested in this stuff. I clicked on the first link and groaned. Over sixty per cent thought a werewolf would kick a vamp’s ass any time. Dammit! ↗

— Jayde Scott

#bewitched #humor #jayde-scott #humor

Raise a smile and lower stress ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #wisdom #humor

And we'll call you...hmmm. Pudge." "Huh?" "Pudge," the Colonel said. "Because you're skinny. It's called irony, Pudge. Heard of it? Now, let's go get some cigarettes and start this year off right. ↗

— John Green

#wise #humor

Nathan always believed his wife was trying to poison him but he didn't seem to mind. He said it made life kind of exciting. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor #l-m-montomery #humor

And you, Mary, if you must run off to London, why do it in that unfinished manner, so that I was left without the car, and couldn't catch anything until the midnight train at Northallerton? It's so much better to do things neatly and properly, even stupid things. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#lord-peter-wimsey #humor

Charles stepped forward, looking outraged. 'Him?' he cried. 'But I clobbered him! You can't marry him, Ally. ↗

— Marissa Doyle

#charles #humor #leland-sisters #marissa-doyle #humor

I can see that an insufficent, or perhaps even defective, socialization process has led you to believe that four-letter words add power to languauge ↗

— Preston and Child

#humor #pendergast #preston #still-life-with-crows #humor

The quickest way to the top, is getting off your bottom ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #wisdom #humor

Nie wierzę! Nie wierzę! Och, Ron, to cudownie! 'Prefekt! Jak każdy w tej rodzinie!' A ja i Fred to co, jesteśmy tylko sąsiadami?' zdenerwował się George, kiedy matka odepchnęła go na bok i rzuciła się na swego najmłodszego syna, obejmując go gwałtownie. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#twins #humor

Yes, yes, mistress, I shall go and accomplish your task. Only—I was not only sent to kill the Leucrotta. There is a maiden in a tower—" At this the Witch spat, again rolling her marvelous eyes. "Those revolting creatures are always getting themselves locked up. If only they would stay that way. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#maidens #towers #witches #humor