#wil

He was muscular, like a man who could pin you up against the wall as easily as a poster, yet lean, like a man who would rather cradle you in his arms. He had reddish, blonde-brown hair that was groomed heterosexually. He looked older than the other boys in the room—maybe not as old as God or my father, but certainly a viable replacement. Imagine if you took every woman’s idea of a hot guy and averaged it out into one man. This was that man. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #imagination

Anya jumped in front of the man, acting as his shield. “Now, Sabin. He didn’t mean any harm. He’s borderline stupid. You know that. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#lords-of-the-underworld #william #humor

Madame Bellwings, Memoir Elf Coordinator, was not at all pleased with this request, because elves who write the memoirs of teenage girls have the habit of returning to the magical realm with atrocious grammar. They can't seem to shake the phrases "watever" and "no way," and they insert the word like into so many sentences that the other elves start slapping them...and for no apparent reason occasionally call out the name Edward Cullen. ↗

— Janette Rallison

#twilight #humor

Tessa: I won't know if I like it until I try it, will I?" Will: "I've never swum naked in the Thames, but I know I wouldn't like it." "But think how entertaining for sightseers," said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his grin. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa #will #humor

Freewill does not impune the sovereignty of God, it in fact affirms it. ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#freewill #r-alan-woods #sovereignty-of-god #r-alan-woods

Will!" Charlotte threw up her hands. "Why didn't you say so?" "You know, the books on demon pox are in the library," Will said with an injured tone. "I wasn't preventing anyone from reading them ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #will-herondale #humor

Alice! You know I love you like a sister!" "Words." she growled. ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#bella-swan #humor #love #twilight #vampires

Pittsburgh was even more vital, more creative, more hungry for culture than New York. Pittsburgh was the birthplace of my writing. ↗

— Willa Cather

#pittsburgh #willa-cather #new-york-city

When horsepower matches willpower, a road trip doesn’t end with the ocean. It only begins with a six pack. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #horsepower #humor #road-trips #willpower

A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny